Sometimes I feel my greatest flaw is thinking it is my duty to explain to others what they don’t understand about me. I tell myself that it is important for people to like me, to know me as I really am. I don’t want to be misunderstood, or judged by others. Recently, I’m starting to see that I don’t always understand myself and am quick to judge myself, probably more harshly than any other person ever will. I am constantly changing, evolving. I am not who I was a year ago. too much has happened for that to be true. Tomorrow , given new knowledge and new experiences, I will continue to evolve, change. That is who I am. My values are constant, but the ways I perceive my world, the way I see people, or my own place in the world is constantly changing. How I perceive life and death also change from month to month.
I am starting to see that sometimes its OK to just be me, without explanations. I am complex. I think and analyze a great deal. I want to evolve, to become all it is possible for me to become. When I love people and how I express it, it comes from within. I am letting go of the need to explain any of it except to say, love exists and it is good. My past has a lot to do with who I am today. The past gave me some strengths like fortitude, persistence, inner toughness, the ability to look at myself, and to take responsibility for my actions. It gave me a faith to believe in. My past also gave me qualities to hinder my growth. Trust is hard, sharing my feelings and thoughts with others is difficult. I need feedback to understand myself and others better. I am learning that it is all up to each one of us to grow or not grow. The Journey of Life belongs to each one of us. My journey is mine to live. How I live my life and what I finally do with it is my responsibility as well.