This poem was written at a very difficult time in my life, almost two years ago. I am at a different place now for which I am grateful. It was a time of internal conflict between opposite sets of emotions and thoughts. It was before I learned the skills of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
Frustration grows within my heart.
I am filled with several emotions.
Love emerges like a long forgotten song
That I have lost the lyrics to.
Fear is always there lurking in every corner,
Hiding behind every tattered bush
That grows within my battle-scarred mind.
It colors my world completely, this need for safety.
It is found in every breath I take,
Every word I utter, every song I dare to sing.
It resides in every heartbeat, and
In every step I make, in every effort to relate.
Fear covers my life like a dark shroud.
I can barely raise my head or take a breath.
Enough of this!
I want to feel the rain upon my face,
The sun’s warmth on my cold skin,
And feel grass beneath my feet.
I want to hear a baby’s laugh,
A girl shout with unbridled joy,
And feel safe within a warm embrace.
I want to hear words with tenderness,
Cry tears wiped with loving hands.
I want my name spoken with gladness.
I want to trust you with my mind and heart.
I want to know you see the good in me.
Please, teach me how to love myself
and find the courage to live again