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Sometimes our weaknesses take us down a very long winding road filled with rocks, tree limbs, and holes in the ground. We have to step carefully to avoid the obstacles in our way. If we are not focused, we will stumble and fall. Our past does not define us, but it does affect us one way or the other.

The other day someone had written a statement about past memories, that we must like them or want them or we wouldn’t spend so much time dwelling on them or bringing them up. There may be a handful of people in the world that like the hurtful memories, but for most people, they avoid them like the plague unless a trigger occurs that brings back the same feelings and thoughts of buried memories. Then they rise up and catch us with surprise and wrap gnarled thick vines around our minds to disable us. Most of the time we go along enjoying life until we see, smell, touch, taste, or hear something that triggers trauma from the past.

Sounds are frequent triggers for me. The sound of a shovel hitting hard soil or the sound of digging can make me break out in a cold sweat. The loud sound of a firecracker, or muffler can bring back memories of a gun shot, and I find myself on the ground, more often than not. When I go and have my infusions at the hospital every two weeks, the smell of the alcohol brings back memories of other hospitalizations before five years of age. I can snap awake, even if I am asleep, if the nurses step too close to my chair during the I.V.G. Losses also trigger memories of loss.

Soldiers are triggered by firecrackers, a car back firing. Sometimes memories surface because we haven’t fully worked through old trauma yet. The soul seeks resolution, if possible. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me they enjoyed  the Trauma memories. Most of the time, they would give anything if they could stop them from coming. Sadly, that’s not often possible.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Facebook Timeline on 2-16-16.

Found on Facebook Timeline on 2-16-16.

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